A Moment of Thanks

From Layla Grace: Sleep, Valentines Day and Regrets:

Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her.

My heart broke when I read this, not just because of little Layla Grace's passing, but because it was as if it spoke right to my face and reminded me to be thankful for my son every single day. I AM the mother who looks forward to nap time so I can have some "me" time; I beg for my son to sit still through anything; I have daily battles about the dishwasher – for all of the "annoyances" and all the times I've threatened to drive to the Safe Haven – I almost feel ashamed. While I complain about how my son upturned yet another bowl of blueberries, I need to remember the the fact that he is here, and he is a healthy and happy child, and that trumps all those "annoyances".

Thank you, Layla Grace, for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff. My thoughts are with the Marsh Family, and I wish for nothing more than the healing of their hearts and souls.

Cake Cures Everything

My son, in all his craziness, seems to be having a hard time understanding that I do not like it when he stands and plays on one of our dining room chairs. He has gotten his legs stuck once, and I'm sure he's fallen off a couple of time. According to him, there is no lesson to be learned.

Tonight, he tumbled off again while climbing up – it was a short tumble, and he landed on his bottom. I didn't think it was anything serious, so I just gave him an "I told you so" look and continued to do whatever important thing that I was doing (cutting up a piece of brownie). He sat on the floor for a moment – I assume to build momentum for the inevitable cry-fest – then got up and waddled over to me in the kitchen, arms outstretched and crying. It's like the universal sign for "I need some TLC!"

But before he got to me, he saw that I was holding a plate in my hand, and on top of that plate was a piece of brownie. He clapped his hands together, and in an instant, his frown (literally) turned upside down, and he gleefully yelped, "CAKE!"

He ran back to the dining table and waiting for me to prop him up on his booster chair. As we worked together to polish off that brownie, he gave a big, chocolate grin and declared, "Yum!" after each bite. So as you see, cake indeed does make it all better.

Easy Meals: Black Bean & Artichoke Burritos

In an attempt to save money and eat healthier, I've decided to cook mostly vegetarian meals during the week. Tonight I made black bean & artichoke burritos based off of this recipe, but I made a few changes after reading the reviews. I ended up using just one skillet to cook the filling, and I folded each tortilla in half, rather than folding them up like a burrito (I felt that the tortillas I had were too small and too thick for burrito purposes).

Ingredients
1 can (15oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 can (1oz) artichoke hearts, drained and sliced
1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tsp salt

1 tsp cumin
1 can (15oz) diced tomatoes

1/2 can (15oz) corn, drained

flour tortillas (I used 8" medium ones)

Directions
Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in artichoke hearts, onion, garlic, salt and cumin; cook until the artichokes become golden brown. Stir in corn and cook for five minutes. Add black beans and cook until heated through.

Lightly spray a flat griddle pan with oil and heat on medium. Place tortillas on heated pan. Sprinkle some cheese on half of each tortilla, then spoon filling on top. Sprinkle a little bit more cheese on top of filling, then fold over. Heat for approximately 3-5 minutes, then flip to heat other side for additional 3-5 minutes, until tortillas have a slight crunch.

Guide to Understanding My Toddler - Part II

I find it hilarious that my son appends an "ah-" before almost every word. Dada becomes ah-dada, and I'm ah-mom.

Oh, and although we've moved on from ah-cock to ah-cwock (for clock), we now have learned ah-fuck (for fork).

Easy Meals: Breakfast Casserole

Eggs, cheese, and bacon! The original recipe is here; I didn't have any croutons on hand, so I just cubed some whole wheat sandwich bread. I also used some pre-cooked Applewood Smoked Bacon from Trader Joe's to save time (and mess).

Punishment

As I was getting my son dressed after his bath tonight, he kept kicking wildly, as he often does during clothes and diaper changes. I gave him a stern warning stop. KICK KICK KICK. I warned him that if he continues to kick, he will go to straight to bed without storytime. KICK KICK KICK.

I finished getting him dressed, then took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth, all the while reminding him that he is going to bed without storytime.

I placed him in his crib without all our usual bedtime routines. No books. No saying goodnight to Mr. Penguin (nightlight) and Dolly (stuffed sheep). No checking the body parts to make sure they're there before bed, no last guffaw, no "night-night".

As I closed the door behind me and headed downstairs, I expected to hear him scream and kick his crib. I expected at least a half hour of pained crying. But did any of that happen? No. So as "punishment" my son just went straight to sleep.

This kid will never understand consequences.

Speech Therapy - Day One

Today was my son's first day in speech therapy. He did "well," I suppose, though I guess I didn't really have any idea of what to expect. I knew that the sessions would revolve around play, and I'm just glad we avoided any major tantrums.

Observations

• Repetitiveness: he definitely has a thing for doing things over and over again, especially opening and closing things. This was already very clear to us while traveling recently, and he must have opened and closed the window shutters on the airplane hundreds of times.
• Determination/stubbornness: similar to his penchant for opening and closing things, he tends to work on things over and over again until he gets it right, or what happens more often, until he gets frustrated.
• One-track mind: along with his stubbornness, once he sets his sight on a particular toy that he's interested in, it can be pretty difficult to pull him away to do something else. Thankfully, we were able to move him to different activities without too much drama.
  
• Pretend play: I was surprised at how well he did at pretend play. He knew how to give a baby doll a bottle, how to feed her with a spoon, and he understood when she was going to sleep. It was funny to watch him lay on the floor beside the doll and go "night-night" with her.

Mean

How many parents can and do admit that they've thought to themselves, "My kid just isn't very nice."

Guide to Understanding My Toddler

With my son's speech therapy sessions starting next week, I figured it would be a good idea to list down what words he actually knows and tries to say:

aahys = eyes
appuh = apple
bohl = ball
buhs = bus/buttons
bee = bee
bye = (good) bye
cahr = car
caht = cat
cock = clock
doohr = door
duwn = down
gog = dog
guck = duck
eehrs = ears
haht = heart
hayr = hair
hao = hello
hi = hi
hinds = hands
hoht = hot
hohse = horse
ipuhd = iPod
moon = moon
mouse = mouth
nah = banana
nohse = nose
opin = open
pweas = please
sohks = socks
suhn = sun
syoos = shoes
tarhs = stars
teehs = teeth
uhp = up

Things I Crave: Happiness

Doesn't everyone want happiness? Mine costs as little as $54!

(Not) Mother of the Year

I am so far from winning any Mother of the Year awards.

Unless there's a category for Verbally Abusive.

/sigh

Things I Crave: Leica M7 Hermes

The Super Expensive, Incredibly Limited Edition Leica M7 Hermes

Girl Chaser

Today my son was chasing a little girl around our house, trying to tickle her.

It was cute until he nearly shoved her right into the stair steps.

(At this rate, this kid will break more than just hearts!)

Things I Never Thought I'd Say: Peanut Butter

Filed under: Things I Never Thought I'd Say.

"Yes, if you pick your nose after you've been poking the peanut butter on the celery, you WILL get peanut butter in your nose."

Foul-Mouthed

Son, pointing to the dog on his shirt: Cock!
Me: That's a dog.
Son: Cock!
Me: D-uh, d-oooog.
Son: C-uh, c-oooock!
Me: (sigh)

Things I Crave: Breville BKC700XL

The Breville BKC700XL single-serve coffee maker.

Depeche Mode Will Never Be the Same

I admit that I'm one of those people who like to warble loudly in their cars. I'm no singer, I'm fully aware of that, which is why I only do it in my car.

I was wailing along to Depeche Mode's A Question of Lust, getting into it as I normally do, when the line "kiss me goodbye when I'm on my own," came up. My son, hearing "goodbye," promptly responded with his usual "BYYEEEEEE!!!"

My OCD Toddler

Even though it's been going on for a couple of months now, I still stand back in slight bewilderment at my son's NEED to close every single door he sees. He's already locked the cat up in our bedroom once or twice, and he's even locked himself inside the bathroom with no lights on – sometimes he cries, sometimes I can hear him babbling to himself and tinkering about in the dark.

I should also mention that apart from closet doors, I prefer that room and bathroom doors remain open! I'll toss this into the "I swear my kid's the total opposite of me" pile.

Therapy

Tonight, in a fit of rage and frustration, I yelled at my son to "SHUT UP!" It was almost bed time, and I just couldn't take any more of his loud babling and screaming, so I lost it.

On the plus side? At least I didn't tell him to STFU.

Boy, this kid's going to need a lot of therapy when he gets older.

(Almost) Without Incident

I normally leave my son with his father at home on Sundays while I go grocery shopping, but because he had to go to work today, I had no choice but to take little E with me.

Our first stop, Trader Joe's, went pretty smoothly. He was strapped into the shopping cart and for the most part - we didn't have any ear-piercing screaming incidents inside the store. That's what usually gets to me - and it's not that I'm embarrassed (anymore). My son is almost two years old, I'm used to getting all sorts of looks from strangers when we're out in public - it's just that the screaming hurts my own damn ears and simply damages my calm! I'm not a loud person, so having a child who seems like the total opposite just drives me crazy sometimes.

Our second stop, Albertsons, was fine too. Well, until I was trying to check out at the self-service stands and he ran off. It was a quick stop for some chili powder, so I didn't bother getting a cart for us - plus I do want him to eventually learn that if he wants to be able to walk around with us, he has to remain close to us and not run off. So there I was, leaving an unpaid bottle of chili powder at the checkout stand while I ran after Speedy Gonzales. I just keep telling myself that ONE DAY, he'll learn.

Or that he'll eventually turn 18.