Things I Crave: Happiness

Doesn't everyone want happiness? Mine costs as little as $54!

(Not) Mother of the Year

I am so far from winning any Mother of the Year awards.

Unless there's a category for Verbally Abusive.

/sigh

Things I Crave: Leica M7 Hermes

The Super Expensive, Incredibly Limited Edition Leica M7 Hermes

Girl Chaser

Today my son was chasing a little girl around our house, trying to tickle her.

It was cute until he nearly shoved her right into the stair steps.

(At this rate, this kid will break more than just hearts!)

Things I Never Thought I'd Say: Peanut Butter

Filed under: Things I Never Thought I'd Say.

"Yes, if you pick your nose after you've been poking the peanut butter on the celery, you WILL get peanut butter in your nose."

Foul-Mouthed

Son, pointing to the dog on his shirt: Cock!
Me: That's a dog.
Son: Cock!
Me: D-uh, d-oooog.
Son: C-uh, c-oooock!
Me: (sigh)

Things I Crave: Breville BKC700XL

The Breville BKC700XL single-serve coffee maker.

Depeche Mode Will Never Be the Same

I admit that I'm one of those people who like to warble loudly in their cars. I'm no singer, I'm fully aware of that, which is why I only do it in my car.

I was wailing along to Depeche Mode's A Question of Lust, getting into it as I normally do, when the line "kiss me goodbye when I'm on my own," came up. My son, hearing "goodbye," promptly responded with his usual "BYYEEEEEE!!!"

My OCD Toddler

Even though it's been going on for a couple of months now, I still stand back in slight bewilderment at my son's NEED to close every single door he sees. He's already locked the cat up in our bedroom once or twice, and he's even locked himself inside the bathroom with no lights on – sometimes he cries, sometimes I can hear him babbling to himself and tinkering about in the dark.

I should also mention that apart from closet doors, I prefer that room and bathroom doors remain open! I'll toss this into the "I swear my kid's the total opposite of me" pile.

Therapy

Tonight, in a fit of rage and frustration, I yelled at my son to "SHUT UP!" It was almost bed time, and I just couldn't take any more of his loud babling and screaming, so I lost it.

On the plus side? At least I didn't tell him to STFU.

Boy, this kid's going to need a lot of therapy when he gets older.

(Almost) Without Incident

I normally leave my son with his father at home on Sundays while I go grocery shopping, but because he had to go to work today, I had no choice but to take little E with me.

Our first stop, Trader Joe's, went pretty smoothly. He was strapped into the shopping cart and for the most part - we didn't have any ear-piercing screaming incidents inside the store. That's what usually gets to me - and it's not that I'm embarrassed (anymore). My son is almost two years old, I'm used to getting all sorts of looks from strangers when we're out in public - it's just that the screaming hurts my own damn ears and simply damages my calm! I'm not a loud person, so having a child who seems like the total opposite just drives me crazy sometimes.

Our second stop, Albertsons, was fine too. Well, until I was trying to check out at the self-service stands and he ran off. It was a quick stop for some chili powder, so I didn't bother getting a cart for us - plus I do want him to eventually learn that if he wants to be able to walk around with us, he has to remain close to us and not run off. So there I was, leaving an unpaid bottle of chili powder at the checkout stand while I ran after Speedy Gonzales. I just keep telling myself that ONE DAY, he'll learn.

Or that he'll eventually turn 18.